Too much and too little parent time is bad for children, a major reason for Separation Anxiety Disorder

The prevalence of separation anxiety disorder is estimated to be 4 percent among children, 1.6 percent among adolescents, and 0.9 to 1.9 percent among adults, according to studies and surveys collected.
Looking at the rising concern, Create Stories Social Welfare Society organised ‘Letting go...’ a workshop on separation anxiety with parents at a school in Mahalaxmi nagar (UC kindies) .
Organiser Deepak Sharma said, “When kids face issues in their childhood, then they cannot become happy adults and hence, not happy parents and the chain continues. We want to break this chain and support happiness as a natural consequence in our lives.” He added that children are blessings and must be cared for in  way that they can blossom into happy individuals.

Neuro-Psychiatrist and expert Dr Pawan Rathi said,  “Separation anxiety is normal in very young children (those between 8 and 14 months old). Kids often go through a phase when they are "clingy" and afraid of unfamiliar people and places.” He added that when this fear occurs in a child over age 6 years, is excessive, and lasts longer than four weeks, the child may have separation anxiety disorder.
“It usually ends around 2 years old, when toddlers begin to understand that a parent may be out of sight right now but will return later,” Rathi said. He explained that anxiety becomes problematic when it is excessive given the person's developmental stage, and when it disrupts the person's life.
“This disorder is seen in kids whose parents are working and kids lack parental care in the first year of their life,” Rathi said. He suggested that at least one parents should stay with the child for first year of their life at least if not more.
Causes of separation anxiety disorder

·        Single child
·        Nuclear families
·        Overprotective parents
·        New major changes in life: new house, new school, new place, etc.
·        Parents suffering from anxiety, clingy behaviour or have suffered separation anxiety
·        Stressful family environment: divorce, violence, monetary struggle, etc.
·        Lack of parental care and connection during 1st year of life

Tips to help child attend school
•             Handle your own emotions. Anxiety is contagious – parent anxiety can be transmitted to children. The first step is to be self-aware, deal with your own anxiety and work out why you’re feeling a certain way.
•             Be authentic. Children are surprisingly perceptive. They have antennae that tune in to parent behaviour so you need to be genuine.
•             Keep talking. Talking through your child’s fears and asking them what’s worrying them can help alleviate their anxiety.
•             Look to the future. Discussing your child’s first day and what will happen creates predictability about what will occur, reduces anticipatory stress, and helps them mentally prepare for change.
•             Make the journey to school a familiar one. Avoid first day surprises and set up a trial journey if practicable.
•             Prepare your child’s school clothes, school bag and lunch box. Doing this together can help boost excitement.
•             Get ready without fuss or rush. Emotions will be already be high so avoid a before school meltdown by allowing extra time.
•             Save the tears, be they of joy or distress, for the car as you drive away.
•             Share with other parents left behind at the school gate. They may be feeling just the same as you.
•             Turn on some happy music and be proud that you’ve got your little one this far.
Practise this before schooling

1.            Start by chatting about school in general terms. Point out other children on their way to school and read stories about going to school. Your local library will have some if you ask the children’s librarian.
2.            Next, get your child involved in choosing their uniform. Take the opportunity to ask them open questions about school – you might get some interesting insights into their hopes and fears.
3.            Practise getting the uniform off and on, so that your child can cope when changing for sports.
4.            Many children are worried about school lunches. Ask for the menu in advance and talk about how fun it will be eating with your child’s new friends. If your child has packed lunches, pack them together.
5.            Most schools settle new children into Reception gradually, offering short days or mornings to start. If you feel your child won’t keep up with the schedule offered, ask the school if you can collect them early.
6.            Get to know your child’s teacher well right from the beginning, and let them know if there are any issues that are worrying you.